Understanding what is out there about your mental wellbeing on the world wide web can be confusing and extremely daunting at the best of times. Fake and inaccurate information proliferate and are extremely dangerous and can lead to making your problem worse. That's why The Listening Therapist ensures that any information is easy to understand, scientifically based on nationally and internationally recognised peer reviewed data and will always acknowledge the source.
Why not have a look at some of our posts below and see for yourself. If you don't see something you like, please tell us what you would prefer to see posted by clicking or tapping on our online form. Thank you.
£300,000,000,000*
According to The Big Mental Health Report (2025), this is the cost to the sufferer and the economy in England alone!!
75%*
Of Suicides in England
According to The Big Mental Health Report (2025), 75% of suicide deaths in England alone were of men!!
1,900,000#
According to NHS Digital, as of August 2024, this was the figure of patients of NHS MH services. The vast majority were adults!!
# This information came from NHS Digital
https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/mental-health-services-monthly-statistics/performance-august-2024#summary
* This information came from Mind
https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/our-policy-work/reports-and-guides/the-big-mental-health-report-2024/#findings
This time of year in the northern hemisphere beckons the arrival of spring. A time that brings a sense of renewal and rejuvenation as they days get longer, the temperature gets warmer and nature starts to wake up in all mother natures glory. This is especially true for those who suffer from an illness called seasonal affective disorder or SAD. Also, the month of April marks Stress Awareness Month – a crucial reminder that the demands of modern life can cast a long shadow even on the brighter and longer days. If you're feeling the weight of pressure from work or home life, know that you're not navigating this difficulty alone. Fortunately, evidence-based strategies exist to help you regain your equilibrium. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), grounded in robust psychological and psychoanalytic principles, offers a powerful pathway to effective stress management.
Deconstructing the Stress Response: A Psychophysiological Perspective
From a psychological standpoint, stress is more than just a feeling; it's a complex psychophysiological response initiated by our brains limbic system to a perceived threat or challenge. Some call this the flight, fright or freeze response. Now, not all stress is bad for us believe it or not! To illustrate, an endurance athlete preparing for their marathon run needs plenty of oxygen rich blood and certain proteins and natural sugars at a moments notice. The heart needs to beat faster and stronger, the lungs need to exchange CO2 for O2, additional blood needs to be sent to their muscles to allow them to continue in this race. Thanks to stress responses all these things happen without the runner giving it much thought. For us mere mortals who do not run marathons, The General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS), proposed by Hans Selye (1946), outlines three stages: “alarm, resistance, and exhaustion” that our body uses in response to everyday stress. While the initial ‘alarm’ phase is adaptive for acute threats or needs, chronic/long term exposure to uncontrolled stress keeps us in the ‘resistance’ phase, depleting our bodies resources and increasing vulnerability to chronic health issues such as high blood pressure, certain cancers, migraines, auto-immune diseases and so forth. Understanding how our biological and psychological interplay underscores the importance of utilising effective proactive stress management is one part in managing chronic stress effectively.
CBT: Bridging Cognition, Emotion, and Behaviour
At its core, CBT operates on the principle that our thoughts significantly influence our feelings and behaviours. Rooted in social learning theory (Bandura, 1977) and cognitive psychology, CBT emphasizes that we are not merely passive recipients of external events but actively interpret and make meaning of them. This meaning-making process, often involving deeply ingrained cognitive schemas which most of us are unaware of due to them operating in our subconscious (underlying beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world around us), can either buffer against stress or exacerbate it. By bringing these cognitive processes into conscious awareness, CBT empowers us to modify or change these maladaptive (false) patterns.
Here's how key CBT techniques align with psychological theory and can be applied to manage stress:
1. Identifying Negative Automatic Thoughts (NATs): Unveiling Cognitive Distortions
NATs are the surface-level manifestations of our underlying cognitive schemas. Often characterized by cognitive distortions – systematic errors in thinking – such as catastrophizing, overgeneralization, or personalization, these thoughts can fuel anxiety and stress.
Psychological Link: Understanding these distortions, as described in Beck's cognitive model of depression and anxiety, is crucial. Recognizing a thought as a "catastrophic prediction" rather than an objective reality allows for psychological distancing and evaluation.
How to use it: As before, monitor your thoughts during stressful times. Label any identified NATs and try to identify the underlying distortion at play.
Example: The NAT "I'm going to fail this presentation and everyone will think I'm incompetent" might reflect the cognitive distortion of "catastrophizing" (assuming the worst-case scenario) and "personalization" (believing others' reactions are solely about you).
2. Challenging Negative Thoughts: Employing Cognitive Restructuring
This technique directly addresses the core tenet of CBT: modifying maladaptive thought patterns. By critically examining the evidence for and against a thought, we engage in a process of cognitive restructuring, aiming to replace biased or inaccurate interpretations with more balanced and realistic ones.
Psychological Link: This process aligns with the principles of rational-emotive behavior therapy (REBT), which emphasizes identifying and disputing irrational beliefs that contribute to emotional distress.
How to use it: Apply the same questioning as before, but now also consider the logical fallacies within the thought.
Example (challenging the NAT above): "Is it truly likely that everyone will think I'm incompetent based on one presentation? What evidence do I have for this extreme prediction? Have I given presentations before that went well?"
3. Cognitive Restructuring: Building Psychological Flexibility
The goal of restructuring is not simply to think "positive" thoughts but to develop more flexible and adaptive cognitive patterns. This fosters psychological flexibility, the ability to adapt one's thoughts and behaviours to situational demands and persist in actions aligned with one's values.
Psychological Link: This concept is central to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a "third-wave" CBT approach that emphasizes acceptance of difficult thoughts and feelings while committing to values-driven action.
How to use it: Reframe the challenged NAT into a more balanced and realistic statement that acknowledges the difficulty but also your capacity to cope.
Example (restructuring the NAT): "Giving this presentation is challenging, and I might feel nervous. However, I've prepared, and even if there are minor hiccups, it doesn't define my overall competence. I can learn from the experience."
4. Behavioural Activation: Counteracting Avoidance and Fostering Positive Reinforcement
Stress can trigger avoidance behaviours, leading to a vicious cycle of withdrawal and decreased positive reinforcement. Behavioural activation, rooted in operant conditioning principles, aims to break this cycle by increasing engagement in activities that are inherently rewarding or aligned with one's values.
Psychological Link: By scheduling pleasurable activities, we increase the likelihood of experiencing positive emotions, which can counteract the negative effects of stress and improve overall mood, consistent with principles of reinforcement.
How to use it: As before, identify and schedule activities that bring you joy or a sense of accomplishment.
Example: Even when feeling overwhelmed, consciously scheduling a relaxing activity like listening to music or spending time in nature can provide a positive counterpoint to stress.
5. Problem-Solving: Enhancing Perceived Control
Stress often arises from feeling a lack of control. The structured problem-solving approach in CBT aims to enhance perceived control, the belief that one has the ability to influence events and cope with challenges.
Psychological Link: Research in health psychology consistently shows that higher levels of perceived control are associated with better stress management and overall well-being.
How to use it: Follow the same steps for problem-solving, focusing on breaking down overwhelming issues into manageable steps.
Example: Feeling stressed about financial difficulties can be addressed by clearly defining the problem, brainstorming potential solutions (e.g., budgeting, seeking financial advice), and taking concrete steps towards a solution.
Integrating Psychological Theory for Sustainable Well-being
By understanding the psychological underpinnings of CBT techniques, we gain a deeper appreciation for their effectiveness in managing our bad stress. Try committing to not only practising these techniques but by also understanding the cognitive and behavioural principles that drive them, we can rewire these neurons in our brains that keep these maladaptive strategies in place (we can do this by utilising our brains plasticity). This integrated approach can foster greater self-awareness, psychological flexibility, and ultimately, a more resilient and balanced life.
What psychological insights resonate most with you in your own stress management journey? Why not share your thoughts, feelings and experiences on a LinkedIn post or send me an email!
benjamin.thompson@thelisteningtherapist.co.uk
Some useful websites and videos for stress management:
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/tips-to-reduce-stress/
https://youtu.be/cyEdZ23Cp1E Video on top tips for relaxation
https://youtu.be/xLoK5rOl8Qk Video for Children Body Scanner – Based on Mindfulness
https://youtu.be/e0f9wa2SUX0 Video for Adult Body Scanner – Based on Mindfulness
To see or hear a child playing, running, laughing or talking with friends are things that are great things to behold but when they are ill or crying it can be hard for any to see. We all have a picture of what children should be like. This is formed by our own childhood's, our religion, customs or personal beliefs and age. Very few of us though want to see harm come to them but this is happening on a scale of unprecedented proportions never seen before. Compounded by the Coronavirus Covid 19 pandemic, children like never before are suffering from fear, anxiety and depression to such an extent that over 50% of British children have a mental illness (Places2be, 2024). This is not the same as the American Childhood Bipolar Disorder diagnosis issue that has been fuelled by big pharmaceuticals and private medical ethics (Cleveland clinic, 2024). This genuine issue is a major reason why so many children can not attend school. So what is causing this and what can we do as a society to help our future selves?
Causation
Causation means what has caused this pandemic? There are numerous newspaper articles, books, research papers or personal feelings on this topic. Bad mental wellbeing is considered by some communities as not an issue or believed, others argue what has caused it or can help our children. It most certainly can not be cured by ignoring it, calling in a priest or discipline. This is a genuine medical issue. The brain is the second largest organ in the human body and controls our body movement and all its functions, knowledge and thoughts. Our brain is one of very few organs, like the heart, that we can not live without. You and me are our brains! In children, as they are in a constant biological flux as their brains grow and develop as they grow new synapses and recycle old ones and have peaks and troughs in neuro-chemicals are susceptible to having them damaged. We have been living in a time of dire uncertainty, unemployment, few job or career prosects, high crime, gang culture, drugs and violence let alone parental neglect and abuse. To some extent adults can think things through or understand what is happening and why. But children can not do that - they are not mini adults.
These societal issues are then compounded by a dying NHS system of health care drastically mismanaged, underfunded, short staffed and politicised. Mental Health has never been invested in by the political party in government in the UK. Politicians can use their private healthcare paid for by the public to sort any health concern out. It don't affect me syndrome. So what can we do to help the children in our family or those that we know?
Caring for the Mental Health of Children
According to Mental Health UK (2024) having open communication channels with children and young adults, especially as parents is a must. There home environments need to be a place of safety and refuge. When we ask how their day was, allow them to open up and take the time to talk to them don't just ask them on the cuff and then move on. Make the time. Why not download the chart below designed by Places2be and Mental Health UK which gives a number of suggestions in how to start conversations with our kids.
The NHS and Every Mind Matters suggest the follow 6 things to support the mental wellbeing of our young ones:
Listen - Be there to listen to them and there thoughts and feelings.
Be involved - Have an active part in there life each day even if it means chatting after our work, reading or playing together etc.
Take what they say seriously - Do not rubbish or dismiss their thoughts or feelings. It may be different to what you did as a child or what you were allowed to do.
Actively support them - If they ask for support or not, be there for them - big or small problems.
Encourage their interests - We all are individuals so don't dismiss what they like or don't like.
Have a positive routine with them - This may mean a regular bed time reading routine, setting reasonable boundaries and sticking to them or be active with them (go to the park, walks, play video games with them etc.) and try not to let anything get in the way of this time even work.
Its not easy as a parent these days especially if your child has ill health or behavioural difficulties. All of us in the community have a part to play by supporting children and giving them a safe place to grow and learn. Its time to get rid of poverty in the 5th richest nation in the world so children go hungry, unloved, victimised and cold. We may feel that its important to care for the elderly, and it is, so why is not important to love and care for our children? Why are we not investing in government funded mental health? We need psychologists and mental health practioners not more on the rich list. We need to start pressuring the government into what they are supposed to do - provide adequate health care for ALL and not have 12 year waiting lists for mental health care. Its not the responsibility of charities to provide mental health care it the responsibility of the government.
National Mental Health Support
Your local NHS will have services for children and young adults. As waiting lists are extremely long - do not delay in either contacting your GP or you may be able to self-refer:
Every Mind Matters - NHS (www.nhs.uk)
Get help for your symptoms - NHS 111
The NHS website - NHS (www.nhs.uk)
Charity Mental Health Support
Improving children’s and young people's mental health – Place2Be
YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People | YoungMinds
Papyrus UK Suicide Prevention | Prevention of Young Suicide (papyrus-uk.org)
Mental health support in schools and colleges - DfE assured programmes - Minds Ahead
You can check Google or through any search engine on the internet but make sure the source of information is trusted and comes from a research based source.
*This was originally posted on our Wix blog. Content owned by and written by Benjamin Thompson MSc
The Office of National Statistics (ONS) Crime Survey in England and Wales demonstrated that over 700,000 people aged between 16 to 59 were the victim of a sexual offence in 2017 (ONS, 2018). Of all the sexual crimes within the Sexual Offences Act 2003, rape drew the highest proportion of crimes not proceeded to court. For example, year ending March 2019 saw 58,657 allegations of rape to police but only 1,925 cases resulted in a successful prosecution (HMCPSI, 2019). Behind each of these statistics is a human being, something we all do well to remember. Late 2023 , I published a paper on the rape pandemic that this country has been suffering from over the past 10 years. My paper tried to examine it from a specific direction - that of the involvement of the prosecution of these crimes by the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) and the female rape victims experiences recorded in the British news media. The current research published in England and Wales tends to focus on stats only from combined government agencies within the criminal justice system. Lets examine five of these papers* that discusses the issue of high attrition rates for female rape survivors. These five papers are a sample of the many research documents that support my assertion within my dissertation that the CPS has had a major part to play in this pandemic and that news sources either ignored the impact on women or employed various biases and rape myths:
Research paper one.
Brown. J (2011). We mind and we care but have things changed? Assessment of progress
in the reporting, investigating and prosecution of allegations of rape. The journal of sexual aggression., 17(3), 263-272, https://doi.org/10.1080/13552600.2011.613280
In 2010, the World Health Organization (WHO) highlighted that failure to successfully prosecute rape offences within England and Wales had reached pandemic proportions (Westmorland and Gangoli, 2011). Between January and October 2011, 43,579 cases of rape were reported. This was up 7% from 2009 (Flatley et al, 2010). This paper examined data from the Metropolitan Police Authority (2011), Stern (2010) and Cook (2011). They found that their qualitative research inferred a link between the CJS and high attrition rates. To illustrate, between these dates, it was estimated that only 0.5 per cent of female rape victims came forward making an average of 95,000 rapes recorded by police, of these, 2,910 went to court and 1,070 resulted in a successful conviction (MoJ et al, 2013).
To be able to control these attrition rates, Brown (2011) suggested that it would be advantageous to focus attention on three main areas: improving equality between the sexes, focusing on Restorative Justice (RJ) outcomes and finally eradicating myths surrounding sex and sexual consent. They concluded by summarising the current difficulties with poor rape attrition rates, as discussed within my research paper, that there is a clear link between these poor survivor outcomes and the CJS, which the CPS is a part of.
Research paper two.
Cook, K. (2011). Rape investigation and prosecution: stuck in the mud? Journal of
sexual aggression – an international, interdisciplinary forum for research, theory and practice, 17(3), 250-262. https://doi.org/10.1080/13552600.2011.613281
Cook's paper was published in response to an UK government review into poor rape attrition rates called the Stern Review (Stern, 2010) . Cook (2011) employed a feministic approach. The government requested that a review be carried out by Baroness Stern (2010) into why sexual offence crimes have not been successfully prosecuted despite the continued increase in reporting rates. Cook (2011) suggested that Stern (2010) was still propagating stereotypical “stuck in the mud” ideas. In particular, she suggests that the current adversarial court system gets in the way of any egalitarian style prosecution for rape survivors. Cook (2011) also inferred that the problem was exacerbated upon release of the sexual offender from prison. Although there are several resident and community based therapeutic approaches for sexual recidivism within England and Wales, they have had a limited amount of success in reducing offending due to the complexity of the offence and its causations (HMPPS, 2020). Additional funding is required to boost government and charitable support and welfare schemes within England and Wales. This research voiced concerns over sexual offending patterns, Stern’s (2010) report on rape cases and how they are handled by public bodies such as the CPS. Cook’s (2011) qualitative feministic perspectives supported my assertion's that the CPS has played a considerable part in the low acceptance of cases, managing prosecutions and how this revictimised survivors.
Research paper three.
Gregory, J. and Lees, S. (1996). Attrition in rape and sexual assault cases. British journal
of criminology, 36(1), 1-17, https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordjournals.bjc.a014060
Gregory and Lee’s (1996) research highlight a historical prospective between the police and CPS’ and their share in culpability for the high rape attrition rates throughout England and Wales. Although this peer reviewed qualitative phenomenological paper was published over 20 years ago, Gregory and Lee’s (1996) offer us a prolegomenon from which we can analyse the data from a contextual sexual offence perspective. For example, austerity within England and Wales during the 1970 and 80’s set in motion the inadequate attrition rates we see today (Farrell and Jennings, 2014). The authors interviewed officers from the Metropolitan Police service, a Forensic Pathologist, Islington CPS, and victim groups between 1988 to 1990. The semi-structured interview data revealed that one of the main reasons rape cases were not processed, was that police officers failed to correctly catalogue these offences (Chambers and Millar, 1983). Even with the CPS taking over prosecutions from the police in 1986, statistics continued to reveal mediocre prosecution levels. Temkin (1993) posited that a police subculture belief in sexual myths was partly to blame for these poor attrition rates. This led to evidence being contaminated making it impossible for the Crown to use in court.
The paper highlighted a historical to current perspective of attrition rates within the CJS. Although revictimization was having a profound effect back in the 1980’s, it clearly shows that, rape attrition has been a systemically profound problem for many years (Gregory and Lees, 1996). This paper’s focus on the police’s relationship with rape attrition rates, provides context to our research topic of the crowns failure to prosecute, in that, there are also other parties within the CJS whom attribute to this phenomenon.
Research paper four.
Murphy. A, Hine. B, Yesberg. J. A, Wunsch. D. and Charlton. B. (2021). Lessons
from London – A contemporary examination of the factors effecting attrition among rape complaints. Psychology, crime and law, 1-33. https://doi.org/10.1080/1068316x.2021.1880584
Murphy's data revealed that one of the lowest rape conviction rates in Europe were in England and Wales, with only 1.5 per cent of cases resulting in a prosecution (Home Office, 2019). It has been estimated that 80 per cent of rapes go unreported to police (Kelly et al, 2005). Data from April 2006 indicated that of the 446 rapes reported to the Metropolitan Police, only 45 cases were processed by CPS even though 1 in 4 of these offences was perpetrated upon those under 16 years of age (Murphy et al, 2021). This quantitative study highlighted that each element of the CJS has had a cumulative effect on poor prosecution rates. Furthermore, rape myths surrounding the use of alcohol or mental instability of survivors continues to negatively affect attitudes toward survivors (Bohner et al, 2013, p. 17). Officers who brought into this mythology bias, were responsible for 48 per cent of case withdrawals as they believed that survivors would likely retract their statements (Hohl & Stanko, 2015).
The authors suggested the need to implement robust psychological training and interventions as most current policies and procedures were outdated. Additional mental wellbeing support is required for survivors throughout the justice process especially when dealing with those that suffer mental health difficulties as this is likely to impact upon co-morbidities and increase the risk of suicide (Murphy et al, 2021, p.5). In conclusion, this paper covers the police investigation to prosecution process of the sexual offence. It highlights a cross section of reasons that attribute to poor rape attrition rates. With only a small percentage of cases gaining CPS approval to charge. The data supported the ideas behind my papers subject positions and discursive repertoires surrounding the CPS’s involvement in the negative direction of prosecution levels to date.
Research paper five.
Wheatcroft, M., Wagstaff, G. E. and Moran, A. (2009). Revictimizing the victim? How
rape victims experience the UK legal system. Victims and offenders, 4(3), 265-284. DOI: 10.1080/1556488090304852
Between 1977 and 1999 the Home Office (2002a) reported that rape prosecutions fell from 1 in 3 to 1 in 13. This research was carried out using a Thematic Analysis methodology to investigate social perceptions and mythology surrounding survivors of female rape. In 2005, only 5.8 per cent of rapes resulted in the CPS prosecuting (Wheatcroft et al 2009). In 2004, the Sexual Offenses Act brought about several positive changes including the incorporation of new sexual offences on men. However, myths that were perpetuated throughout previous legislation and discriminative language regarding female survivor myths continued to be propagated. A considerable proportion of media sources have also been found publishing such myths and biases (Wheatcroft et al, 2009, p.4). Semi structured interviews were undertaken with victim groups, police, and victim support services. Survivors expressed concerns about reporting the crime due to the subject of rape being taboo in most cultures and communities and that no-one would listen to them anyway. Society also continues to fail to engage in a discussion to remove such negative stereotypes such as rape is only an “evolutionary response” (Wheatcroft et.al. 2009). Myths like this move from being societal concepts to active false perspectives within CJS processes.
The research highlighted the urgent need for more specialist centres, training for police, prosecutors and educating society to dispel rape mythology and discrimination. Expanding current societal understanding of sexual offences both within psychological research and within the media system is urgently required.
Conclusion.
This brief bibliography highlighted how female rape attrition rates within England and Wales continue to fall below acceptable limits. Also, it highlights how poor attrition rates are affected by problems within the various sections of the CJS, particularly highlighting the involvement of the police and CPS within England and Wales. Although my paper focuses on the CPS position on negative attrition rates for the prosecutions of rape of a female, some of the above papers linked the police force as an organisation to this issue and individual officers’ biases. Each of the above papers were chosen out of the many psychological papers as they not only supported its main theme but also gave a contextual and historical viewpoint on the many facets of CJS and the part they play, individually and organisationally within this topic. Hope for improvements where discussed. Such as the change in legislation, training for all key parties within the CJS and a reduction in misogynistic mythology (Cook, 2011). These issues will also played a central theme throughout my paper.
The Crown’s Failure to Protect - A Critical Discursive Analysis of Media Reports Referring to Female Rape Attrition Rates in England and Wales - ProQuest Thompson, B. (2022).
Domestic violence is often perceived as a crime exclusively perpetrated by men against women. This fact though has those in the field of advocacy for women, law, parliament, health care and wider society up in arms. Some state it does not happen whilst others demand complete focus on women only. It is a topic that generates so much division, hate and anger – something that those who propagate these myths who would cry abuse if it were said about them! While it's true that women are disproportionately affected, the reality is far more complex. Men, too, experience domestic abuse, often in silence due to societal stigma and a lack of readily available support. This article aims to shed light on this often-overlooked issue, exploring the reasons behind the resistance to acknowledging male victimhood, identifying the signs of abuse, outlining steps to leave an abusive relationship, and providing resources for male victims in the United Kingdom (UK)*.
The definition
A young man sits on the floor in his bedroom crying and shielding his face, Copyright owned by www.domestic-violence-laws.com (2025)
Domestic abuse (DA) and domestic violence are the same thing. According to the British government domestic violence (DV) can be defined as:
Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. This can encompass but is not limited to the following types of abuse:
psychological
physical
sexual
financial
emotional
- domestic violence guidance (2012) click/tap here
Remember - you can be a survivor or just one or all of the actions above. However, it does not mean that one is worse than the other or deserves more attention than the other.
A few little stats
A man in a blue t-shirt is being slapped by a women. Owned by www.domestic-abuse-pictures.com (2021)
One of the strengths of the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) is that it covers many crimes that are not reported to the police and provides reliable estimates of domestic abuse.
Prevalence: The Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) is a reliable source for estimating the prevalence of domestic abuse. The latest CSEW figures (year ending March 2023) show that an estimated 751,000 men aged 16 years and over experienced domestic abuse in the last year. This represents a prevalence rate of approximately 3.2% of men (ONS, 2024).
Lifetime experience: It's estimated that 1 in 7 men in the UK will experience some form of domestic abuse in their lifetime.
Underreporting: It's crucial to remember that these figures likely underestimate the true extent of the problem. Men may be particularly hesitant to report abuse due to societal stigma, fear of not being believed, or concerns about the impact on their children.
Variations in statistics: Different organizations may report slightly different figures due to variations in data collection methods and definitions of abuse. For example, some sources may focus on physical violence, while others include emotional abuse and coercive control.
Why the Resistance?
The reluctance to acknowledge domestic abuse against men stems from several factors. Traditional gender roles often paint men as the strong providers and protectors, making it difficult to reconcile this image with the vulnerability of being abused (Gillis, 2021). DV does not care about whether you are a women, man, LGBTQ+, old, young or non gendered - it can happen to any of us. Men themselves may be hesitant to come forward due to shame, fear of not being believed, or concern about the impact on their children. Furthermore, the focus on female victims in public discourse and support services can inadvertently marginalize male experiences, creating a perception that their suffering is less significant especially when the media and others portray these male survivors as weak or unmasculine (Dowd, 2025).
Key Signs of an Abusive Relationship (for Men and Women):
Domestic abuse is about having power and control over another person. It can manifest in various forms, regardless of gender or sex. While some of the specific tactics may differ, the underlying dynamics are often similar. Here are some key signs to watch for:
Physical Abuse: This includes any form of physical violence, such as hitting, kicking, shoving, grabbing, or restraining that tend to be hidden. Many will wear baggy clothing that covers the neck or hand etc., or will not go out until the bruising is hardly noticeable.
Emotional/Psychological Abuse: This involves tactics like constant criticism, belittling, name-calling, intimidation, threats, isolation from friends and family, and controlling behaviour ("no one will ever believe you" - "you are so stupid - you always get it wrong").
Financial Abuse: This can involve controlling access to money, withholding funds, sabotaging employment, or running up debt in the victim's name. You might have to pay your money into their bank account, have no access to funds or they may count the amount of cash that is given to you before and after shopping.
Sexual Abuse: This includes any unwanted sexual contact or activity, including pressure to engage in sexual acts, sexual coercion, and rape. And yes, you can be raped or sexually abused in a relationship. Consent is not given when married or in a civil relationship at the alter or registry office.
Coercive Control: This is a pattern of abusive behaviour designed to exert power and control over the victim, encompassing many of the above forms of abuse. It can include monitoring, gaslighting, and threats (phone tracking, a slow gradual increase in public displays of over the top attention or abusive talk).
It is important to note that any instance of abuse is totally unacceptable, and the presence of even one of the above signs is a cause for concern.
Leaving an Abusive Relationship:
Leaving an abusive relationship can be challenging for the survivor as many do not want to acknowledge that they are being abused due to the emotional pain, stigma and lies they have been told blaming them as the cause - in the end you start to believe that you are the problem not the perpetrator! It's crucial for the victim's safety and physical and mental well-being to seek help if safe to do so. Here are some steps to consider:
Prioritize Safety: Develop a safety plan that includes a safe place to go, a way to contact emergency services, and important documents. You may be able to tell a neighbour if you trust them or speak to your GP if you think it is safe to do so.
Gather Evidence: If possible, document instances of abuse by telling your doctor or saving threatening messages on your mobile phone.
Seek Support: Confide in a trusted friend, family member, or professional. There are websites and a helpline open 24/7 for men which do not leave details on your internet history or phone records and are free to use.
Contact the police: Dial 999 for urgent help. Remember to tell them that your life is in danger or if you have been starved, hit, sexually abused in some way or neglected. They can help you apply for an emergency injunction such as a Non-Molestation Order (NMO) to protect you. At the moment in the UK, there is a trial underway in a few courts in England (Croydon, Bromley etc.) providing a new protection order brought in this year (2025) called a DAPO or Domestic Abuse Protection Order (click/tap) similar to a NMO (click/tap). Police can also ask a court to issue a prevention order that is a criminal offence to break.
Help in the UK.
Although there are many national and local charitable organizations in the UK to offer support to only women survivors, their is only one national charity that supports only men. This charity is called ManKind - its details are listed at the end of the article. There are also charities that were set up in the UK to support female survivors but have since added male victims of domestic abuse too:
Men's Advice Line: This helpline provides confidential advice and support to men experiencing domestic abuse.
Respect: Respect provides a range of services for perpetrators and victims of domestic abuse, including helplines and online resources.
Victim Support: While not exclusively for men, Victim Support offers general support services for all victims of crime, including domestic abuse.
All contact details will be listed at the end of the article.
The Importance of Acknowledgment and Action
Recognizing and addressing domestic abuse against men is essential for creating a society where all victims, male or female, feel safe and supported. Breaking the silence surrounding this issue requires challenging traditional gender roles, myths, increasing awareness, and providing accessible resources for male victims. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please remember that help is available. You are not alone.
Key takeaways
Domestic abuse against men is a significant issue in the UK.
Hundreds of thousands of men experience abuse each year.
Men are less likely to report abuse than women.
More research is needed to fully understand the extent and nature of domestic abuse against men.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please remember that help is available. You can contact:
Men's Advice Line run by Respect FREE on 0808 802 5810 or visit https://mensadviceline.org.uk/
Mankind Initiative FREE on 0808 800 1170 or visit https://mankind.org.uk/
Refuge has limited services available for men - visit https://refuge.org.uk/support-for-men/
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Note: This article provides general information. It is crucial to consult with professionals for personalized advice and support. The information provided here is not a substitute for professional help. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services. While efforts have been made to cite relevant research, this blog post format may not always allow for formal academic referencing. Readers are encouraged to consult resources from the mentioned organizations and conduct further research on the topic. It's difficult to give an exact number of men abused in the UK, as domestic abuse is underreported, and statistics can vary depending on the source and how abuse is defined.
*Although this article talks about it from the perspective of the UK, domestic violence has the same basic characteristics the world over. Google or your preferred search engine will help you find local services. However a word of warning – check in your country if it is illegal to talk about this subject before searching out information or leaving the abusive relationship FIRST!
Systemic racism and prejudice have been described as a highly infectious virus. In 2013 the social movement “Black Lives Matter”, was formed. This was due to the ever-growing insidious culture of police brutality against BAME communities This ever-growing social issue culminated in the killing of Trayvon Martin in the USA who was shot by police officers in his hometown. Due to the Black Lives Matter (BLM) social phenomena being formed in the USA, some have questioned its relevance within other countries such as Britain. Let us critically examine and article that was published by the Guardian Newspaper entitled: “Systemic racism and police brutality are British problems too”, to see if there is evidence to support this statement (The Guardian Newspaper, 2020).
It’s the 28th October 2019 and Douglas Murray addressed a political rally in Westminster, London. Whilst giving his speech, he decided to call out the recent Black Lives Matter march in London. Murry announced that it is ridiculous to be making a stand over what he and his audience perceived as an American problem. For example, he stated that their slogan – “Hands up – Don’t shoot” whilst being escorted by unarmed British Police Officers, was ridiculous (Murray as cited in Guardian, 2019). However, moving forward to 25th May 2020 and the death of another black man, George Floyd of Minnesota, USA showed that guns were not necessarily the problem. Floyd’s untimely death, according to official sources, was the result of asphyxiation and lack of oxygenated blood to his brain. This was caused by a police officer kneeling on his neck for near on nine minutes (NY Times, 2020). Furthermore, data from USA highlights that black men are more 2 and half times more likely to be killed by law enforcement than a white man (Nature, 2020).
Floyd’s tragic death has highlighted the disproportionate amount of violence and unnecessary restraint against BAME men, women, and children, particularly against black men within the criminal justice system and is just as prevalent in UK as anywhere else in the world. This Guardian article identified that law enforcement, whether that be the police, prisons, or immigration – have been infected with the racial bias. To illustrate, according to Ministry of Justice (2021), black people only make up 3.3 per cent of the United Kingdom’s Population. However though, black men make up over 22 per cent of those stopped by police in Stop and Search policy and black men and women cover ten percent of the prison population. As for black children and youths (aged 10 +), they make up 29 per cent of those in custody and are 17.5 per cent more likely to be murdered (MoJ, 2021). Furthermore, data collected by the Home Office in 2018, show that black people stopped nationally by police were found to be guilty of offence only 35.09 per cent of the time compared to white people 44.89 per cent. This data clearly showed racial bias, as black people, although stopped by police more regularly than white, were found not guilty the most (Khan, 2020).
These figures clearly show that police racial bias is far from just an American problem. The Guardian article goes on to name various black people who have died in UK due to police and immigration brutality. Such as, Rashan Charles, Edson De Costa and Sheku Bayoh. Also, black women have fallen victim to the same brutality (Guardian, 2020). Sarah Reed is just one example of many ethnic minority women who were killed by law enforcement. However, although this problem is of a greater proportion within the USA, this does not denigrate the lives sacrificed on the alter of racial brutality within the UK.
Racial bias can also be seen from the lack of prosecutions within England and Wales. To date, no police officer has ever been successfully prosecuted for killing a black person. The only prosecution was in 1969, where two police officers serving within West Yorkshire constabulary Leeds district, killed a black man named David Oluwale. This man was consistently abused both verbally and physically for several years to attempt to drive him out of Leeds. However, the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) agreed to lessen the charge from manslaughter to assault (Guarding, 2020)*. Although police brutality still is an ongoing problem within UK, there is very little appetite to prosecute those involved. Furthermore, the British government convened a review of racial inequality and institutional bias, The Lammy Review, which was published in 2017. This review showed that the UK is imprisoning more black citizens than the USA is. This sad statistic gets considerably worse when one specifically considers those who are children, 18 years old and younger. This report highlighted that 48 per cent of BAME children, especially young black people, are in custody at any one time (Lammy, 2017 as cited in Guardian, 2020).
To conclude, we have highlighted that although the issue of racial bias and brutality within the police service is a large and visible problem with America’s 52 states, none the less, it is becoming an ever-increasing problem within UK. Furthermore, statistics published both by Ministry of Justice and The Lammy Review, detail that institutional racism within the English and Welsh criminal justice systemgtf988 are at endemic proportions. Also, this problem does not only relate to the adult black population, but over 48 per cent of BAME children can be incarcerated within the same jurisdiction. Far from the BLM being an American societal problem, there is an essential need within UK to highlight the plight of black and brown people. The Guardian Newspaper article highlighted the desperate need for reform on a large scale if injustice and discrimination are to be ever abolished.
*(This does not include Sarah Everard’s Killer who was still a serving Met Police Officer).
References
Hill, E., Tiefenthaler, A, Triebert, C, Jordon, D, Willis, H and Stein, R. (2020). George Floyd Investigation, https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/31/us/george-floyd-investigation.html (Accessed: 05/02/2021).
Khan, A (2020), Latent Racial Bias - Evaluating Racism in Police Stop-and-Searches, Cornell University, NY, USA.
Koram, K., (2020), Systemic racism and police brutality are British problems too, https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/jun/04/systemic-racism-police-brutality-british-problems-black-lives-matter (Accessed: 02/02/2021).
Ministry of Justice. (2018) Race and the Criminal Justice System, publishing.service.gov.uk) (Accessed: 04/02/2021).
Peeples, L. (2020), What the data say about police brutality and racial bias – which reforms might work, https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-01846-z?utm_source=Nature+Briefing&utm_campaign=761bed091d-briefing-dy-20200622&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c9dfd39373-761bed091d-44992633 (Accessed: 05/02/2021).
UK Government (2020), Population of England and Wales, https://www.ethnicity-facts-figures.service.gov.uk/uk-population-by-ethnicity/national-and-regional-populations/population-of-england-and-wales/latest (Accessed: 04/02/2021).
"All rise!" These two words have the power to drag you to your feet and to obtain not just your full undivided attention but that of every person within that room. A Judge within the judiciary of England and Wales is a sight to behold especially in a criminal trial within the Crown Court or Court of Appeal. These highly skilled solicitors or barristers have spent years honing their craft before being able to apply for the job as a Judge. Sitting high up on the raised 'bench' in red or purple robes and grey wigs to signify their importance and wisdom, these judges usually 'sit' in the Crown or High Court. His or Her Honour or Their Lord or Ladyship are two titles that are given more senior Judges with Sir, Ma'am or Judge being the title of lower ranking ones.
At the heart of this legal system a profound responsibility and sometimes a heavy burden sits on these men and women's shoulders: deciding the fate of individuals and communities. The choices a judge makes echo far beyond their courtroom, influencing not only the lives of those directly involved but also shaping societal norms and laws. As judges take on this vital role, their commitment to fair and impartial decision-making becomes crucial. This article explores the challenges judges face, the intricacies of their decision-making process, and the ethical obligations that guide their rulings by getting you to take there place. How would you decide upon critical points of law that could influence a jury's decision to convict or acquit? Could you make important decisions on the spur of the moment - applying years of court precedents, legislation and court procedures?
The Sentencing Council (who are responsible for setting the recommended 'tariffs' that judges must follow) and The Courts and Tribunals Judiciary (is the organisation that all judges belong to) set up a number of scenarios in court where You Be The Judge. The scenarios include cases involving:
Before you get to don the wig and gown and tread walk to the hallowed bench - here are a few handy pointers:
The Role of a Judge in Modern Society
Judges are the guardians of our laws. They interpret and apply legal statutes while ensuring every trial is fair and just. This role requires not just a deep understanding of legal texts but also compassion and a steadfast commitment to justice.
Judges must enter each case with an open mind, actively listening to both sides. This unbiased approach is essential for delivering a ruling based on the merits of the case, free from personal bias or external pressures. For instance, in a recent case involving a housing dispute, a judge’s commitment to hearing both landlords and tenants led to a balanced decision that preserved the rights of both parties, showcasing how fairness in the process can foster community trust.
The Decision-Making Process
Judges do more than preside; they engage deeply with the evidence and arguments presented. Each case is unique, often layered with complex legal and emotional elements.
The decision-making process can be rigorous. Judges meticulously analyse evidence, witness testimonies, and legal arguments. For example, in criminal cases, judges often spend hours deliberating over the credibility of witnesses and the legality of evidence. They must weigh these factors against legal guidelines to arrive at a well-founded decision that reflects the realities of the situation.
The stakes in these cases are enormous. A judge's ruling can result in the loss of freedom, financial repercussions, or other life-altering consequences for individuals and families. In 2021 alone, nearly 2.1 million people were incarcerated in the U.S., underscoring the weight of decisions made in a courtroom.
Factors Influencing Judicial Decisions
Several factors shape judicial decisions beyond strict legal statutes. While the law is the primary guide, personal philosophy, societal norms, and established precedents all play significant roles.
The Emotional Toll of Decision Making
The burden of making significant decisions can weigh heavily on judges. Over time, this emotional stress can manifest as anxiety or burnout.
To manage this pressure, judges must develop effective coping strategies. Many engage in reflective practices to process their experiences. They often seek support from peers, mentors, or mental health professionals. A study showed that judges who participated in wellness programs reported a 31% reduction in stress levels, highlighting the benefits of prioritizing mental health in high-pressure professions.
Ethical Considerations
Integrity is critical in the judicial profession. Judges follow strict ethical guidelines to uphold fairness and honour in their decisions.
Transparency: Building public trust requires transparency in courtroom proceedings. When judges explain their reasoning, it enhances community confidence in the legal system. For instance, judges who articulate their decisions in public forums often observe improved perceptions of fairness within their communities.
Accountability: Judges must also be prepared for scrutiny. The appellate process acts as a check on judicial decisions, allowing for transparency and review of contested rulings. This mechanism reinforces accountability, ensuring that judges maintain the high standards expected of them.
Embracing the Burden of Justice
Being a judge is an exceptionally challenging role. It demands a careful balance between the strict application of law and the human elements that accompany each case.
Judges who approach their work with confidence and integrity can navigate this challenging landscape effectively. They understand that their decisions hold the power to shape lives and define justice. A fair judicial process is essential to a healthy society. As judges fulfil their roles, they must stay vigilant, embracing their responsibilities while promoting a legal system built on fairness, ethics, and respect for all.
Are you ready?
So here we go your honour. It's time for the court to rise!
Click/tap on the weblink below to access these trials. Good luck.
https://www.youbethejudge.org.uk/
ID: This is a picture of an old criminal court room in England and Wales. It has dark mahogany wooden benches and desks. The Judge sits in the front of the court o a raised bench. Copyright owned by gov.uk
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